Dr. Lisa Paz Explains How Married at First Sight Matches Couples: "We Will Deep Dive"
The MAFS Season 20 expert revealed they get a" massive spectrum" of applicants looking for a life partner.
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Key Takeaways
- Married at First Sight expert Dr. Lisa Paz says the matchmaking process involves an intensive review of applicants’ personalities, lifestyles, conflict styles, intimacy preferences, family backgrounds, and long-term goals to find genuine compatibility beyond surface-level similarities.
- Dr. Paz argues that lasting relationships depend more on likability and shared ways of living than romantic feelings alone, emphasizing that love can grow over time when partners genuinely enjoy each other.
- Successful marriages require ongoing effort, intentionality, and resilience through difficult periods rather than leaving at the first sign of conflict or fading excitement.
Season 20 of Married at First Sight has been nothing short of gripping, and those heart eyes and unexpected romances are largely thanks to the work of expert Dr. Lisa Paz.
During an August appearance on The Viall Files podcast, Dr. Paz chatted about the new season of MAFS, the benefits of modern matchmaking, the value of compatibility, and why love isn’t always enough. Leaning on her 21 years of experience working with couples, the board-certified sex therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist also touched on some hot topics regarding relationships, like the importance of likability and the value of working for your marriage.
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Dr. Lisa Paz says the experts "deep dive into every facet" during the MAFS casting process
So, what's the secret to selecting strangers willing to meet their spouse at the altar? Dr. Paz revealed on The Viall Files that she and fellow MAFS expert Paul C. Brunson dive into "every facet" of the applicants' lives in an effort to get as close as possible to a perfect match.
"We will deep dive into every facet of your style, your attraction style, your intimacy style, your conflict resolution, your family of origin, how you want to move through life," Dr. Paz shared.
"It's a really more intensive process than I think people realize because, at a high level, we all say the same s--t," Dr. Paz continued, explaining that virtually everyone wants trust, attraction, a travel buddy, and more, but the little details of our lives are where true compatibility resides.
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"How do you want to live your life next to someone? Do you like them? Everyone says, 'Oh, I want to laugh, I want to have a good time.'" Dr. Paz said, adding that while two people might both love to have a good time, if one of them loves roller coasters and the other doesn't, they won't mesh. "Really peeling back, what does life look like for you? And how do you want to live this life with someone?"
Fortunately for the MAFS matchmakers, they receive a "massive spectrum" of applicants to consider to help set these newlyweds up for success.
"We go through hundreds of human beings that are looking for love. So it is a very, very comprehensive dive," Dr. Paz shared, adding that the "smart, beautiful, good people" who apply for the show nearly all report that they're "just hitting a wall" in the romance department.
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Dr. Lisa Paz breaks down why likability is more important than love
While the MAFS experiment has certainly set up several singles for a happily-ever-after, Dr. Paz explained on The Viall Files that the true key to a happy, lasting connection is to like your partner.
"Love is not enough," Dr. Paz explained, encouraging listeners to think of other relationships in their lives. "We have family members that we love that you would die for. You would do a lot for, but that you don't actually want to be in the same room with for longer than 10 minutes."
Dr. Paz says that those looking for love have a tendency to over-romanticize the little details, overly focusing on falling in love and not caring enough about liking each other from the start.
"I'm always looking for likability," Dr. Paz shared. "Because love comes also with time... So, it's that likability, that compatibility, that do you have the same metrics of how you want to move through life?"
RELATED: All About Married at First Sight Season 20's Honeymoons & the Dreamy Destination
MAFS expert Dr. Lisa says a successful relationship "requires work"
Also during her appearance on The Viall Files, Dr. Paz cautioned that the work doesn't end once the couples run off into the sunset.
"It really requires work," Dr. Paz shared on the podcast. "Like, my skin crawls when people come in, and they're like, 'We knew it was over when it stopped being easy.' And I'm like, 'What do you have? What do you value in your life that comes easy?' Like for real? Like your cute body, your nice car, your degree, your podcast. Like anything you value. ...anything you value requires thought, work, intentionality."
On MAFS Season 20, Dr. Paz leveraged this ample intel, including during the cast's first group therapy session as she encouraged the couples to "level up."
During Episode 9, Paul and Dr. Paz encouraged Adam and Marissa to have deeper, more vulnerable conversations to strengthen their relationship, while they commended Cameron and Michelle for not shying away from discussing difficult topics like finances.
"Everyone needs to hear that. The harder the conversations you have, the closer you grow," Paul told the group.
For Courteney and Nick, the experts encouraged them both to "try harder" to let the other in, to get beyond a surface level friendship. And when Felipe expressed his fears about the passion someday going away with Tori, Dr. Paz reminded the group that it's a common experience that "falsely represents" a true connection.
"The lack of butterflies is just your neurochemistry," she said. "It's your nervous system coming to the baseline, to safety."
Speaking to Mecca and BelleJolie, Dr. Paz was thrilled to hear they worked on "intimacy building," but encouraged Mecca to work on accepting love. When the experts touched base with Nikki and Shawn, they were pleased to learn that their homework assignment helped them understand themselves and each other better.
Finally, Paul cautioned Devin to not "lose" himself in this process while Caitlin explained that she wants to feel "grounded" in their relationship.
"One thing I know definitively about love is it doesn't diminish you," Paul said. "What is does is ask for more of you. So never will you be in a relationship and have to dim or reduce or shrink who you are to fit. Never. A matter of fact, your partner will ask for more."
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See how all of the Season 20 couples progress by watching new episodes of Married at First Sight weekly on Thursdays this summer, only on Peacock.
