Kristen Kish Reveals We Didn't See Her Last Words to Rob, Off-Camera: "Don't..."

Kristen Kish: There was a lot of thought going into the wardrobe. I worked with my stylist.

The thing for me is in Top Chef, I feel like I can get away with wearing things that feel a little bit more outside of my comfort zone. More crop tops, little things showing more skin because I have hair, makeup, lights, everything is full glam. I have a whole team getting me ready. Going on The Traitors, knowing that I was going to have to get myself ready — which I can do — I need something to not feel so departed in my wardrobe and what I could actually glam myself. And so, I just needed two things to match. And for me, tailored suiting did that. It made me feel like me, the version of Kristen that's not on television while also being comfortable.

Gosh, there was a lot of thought going into it. When I initially got the ask, it was, 'No.' I'm not doing this because the thing that makes me nervous is the competition reality that I come from is based off of a skill set that I've crafted and honed and worked really hard to be good at. Then you throw a camera in my face, and although everything else might feel uncomfortable, I have the one thing that I know how to do, which is to cook. People can judge me based off of something I actually give them that people taste, as opposed to The Traitors which is a lot of, "I think, or I'm feeling, or I'm not sure." It's a lot less concrete, your success, and so that made me really nervous.

I did talk to my wife in depth about, should I do this? And she was like, "I think you need to do it."  She was like, "If you think about it, it's a lot less pressure. Like, this isn't you defining your career and the thing that you do, which is cook. Or, if you suck at this game, it doesn't mean people are going to look at you and think you can't cook. There's no line where it's going to impact my real-life job." So in that way, I think I could just lean into it a little bit more and have some fun knowing that if I didn't do well, it was going to be okay. 

The friends that I made. I think I said it at the banquet [where] I was like, "For whatever reasons, we're all chosen to be here. Our individual careers led us to this point where we are all cast to be on this together," and to then walk away having made friends that I would have never otherwise made. Would I ever think that my paths would with Love Island? No, not at all. Even Dancing with the Stars, there's no way. Big Brother, Survivor, and to me, that was the best part. The expectation of going in had nothing to do with the game. It was to have a good time and have a life experience. And I think it met those expectations.

Honestly, I think there's always a level of surprise. Again, because you never know with a 100% certainty unless you are the Traitor, who's who? And so, I'd be lying if I said, "No, I knew." But like, I knew it, but I also didn't at the same time and this is why this game is so difficult, is that you never for certain know. 

I do want to preface all that by saying, my plan going in was to cultivate and harness relationships as if everyone was a Traitor. In my mind, if I look at you and tell you in the face, "There's no way you can be a Traitor," that's also part of the game. So that was how I maneuvered the relationships in that castle.  

And that night where I go after Eric, where I suspect him, I also hugged Rob because everyone hugs each other. You leave and you're like, "Okay, have a good night” and hug each other. I hugged Rob and I said — and this was all off camera so they'll never play this as part of the conversation —  "Hey, just do me a favor. Don't murder me tonight." Did I believe that he was a Traitor? Only in the way that I had always played the game: Everyone was a Traitor. I was like, "Let's throw it all at the wall at this point," 'cause I got a 25% chance of going home. What do I have to lose?'

If you look at how the show had gone, a lot of the more outspoken people, they're gone. And so, if any of those people were still in it, I think the conversation would be very different. But what's happening now in the castle is, and I don't know for certain, but everyone is trying to figure out when to stick their neck out. Like, when's your moment? In the way that I was thinking, you don't have a chance of winning unless you make it to the end so you've got to make it to the end, first and foremost. My goal was never to be the best at the game. It was just to make it to the end.

Fashionable. [Laughs]